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The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 476
Production Info Intro Election Blues * Dr. Colbert is upset ** he took his rage out on a punching bag, but had to stop after the first shotgun blast * Democrats spayed pitbull Sarah Palin * Dr. Colbert is gracious and will accept Obama as long as he is able to defeat the giant spider that lives underneath the White House ** last challenge on the way to the White House ** go down into the pit armed with only a sword and his wits *** he can only become president after emerging with the prized amulet that holds the veto pen * Obama is not the first black American president, that honor goes to Calvin Watts, Jr. ** devoured by giant spider ** Carter beat the spider * every four years they replace the spider * Obama is up to the challenge UnAmerican News Obama Edition * Africa ** jubilation in Kenya ** declared today a national holiday * France ** Sarkozy wrote a letter, implying TGPE was not leading the way * Ukrainee ** Yulia Tymenshenko (sp), Prime Minister * Turkey ** Ersin (sp), professor *** needs a name tuck * Peru ** ritual with sacred llama fetus *** wrong llama fetus, all votes go to Nader Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position * people are losing their jobs left and right ** so are pundits *** forced to tell people what to think for change on the subway * spy is a recession proof job * International Spy Museum * Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position * Peter Ernest * doesn't normally wear a tuxedo * promises nto to yell during the whole interview * was 25 in clandestine service * never killed anyone, but couldn't really tell anyone ** may have been 7 * never seduced a woman spy on a mission * no seduction, cold-blooded humping * intelligence medal of merit ** no longer undercover * won't sell his medal to Stephen * difference between spy and magician ** engage in deception, illusion * was thinking of the 4 of clubs * adopted a whole new identity * was born in Scotland * next week Dr. Colbert will learn what sacrifices are needed to become a spy ** things may or may not go up your butt! Interview * Rachel Maddow * host of the Rachel Maddow show, Stephen wonders who it is? Oh, it's Rachel Maddow! * she's half a Newfie * she has no Peabodys ** just say you have some, no one checks * tries to go beyond the surface, or shiny part * she doesn't look like a policy dork * believes government has a role in governance ** it's not the answer * we only have one government is Benedict Arnold talk * Katrina was a success ** because the government isn't supposed to help ** they proved it * Bush smells like a pine forest ** also has soft hands *** like shaking hands with the Pillsbury doughboy * just present the news without the satire * may need a hemp-powered radio to get Air America Radio * Olbermann is crazy ** thinks he's a chicken * called Olbermann the king of cable ** earned a nailing from Stephen's Mob * as a consolation, Stephen declared her "Queen of cable" Epilogue * Dr. Colbert sat at the fireplace ** Mom Colbert's 88th birthday *** to this day he still doesn't know her first name * she's wonderful ** America owes her alot * baking her a birthday cake in the fire * wish Mom Colbert an 88 ** sing "Happy Birthday" to her in Latin ::Felicem natalem Diem ::Felicem natalem Diem ::O cara ephen stay olbertcay omsmay ::Felicem natalem Diem ::Et Pluri Mas! Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Motherload Videos External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments